Waiting for the Other Boot to Drop... Part 1: Hope & Trust in God

Do you feel this way?

You've experienced or witnessed major loss, damage, repercussions, or trauma from someone's sinful choice of drug or alcohol use. Not just once, but it's happened time and time again. What's to keep it from happening again? You're living on guard, waiting for it to happen again.

I told our biblical counselor that I wanted a guarantee that my spouse would not use drugs or alcohol again. He was very candid and said that there was no guarantee that my husband wouldn't abuse substances again. There were things that he could guarantee if I was willing to hear and learn what the bible has to say. For example, where can I place my hope and trust if I can't guarantee that my spouse will not use again? Where can I place my safety and security if I can't rely on my spouse to remain drug and alcohol free? How can I learn to live without being overcome by fear and anxiety of the unknown? How can I stop waiting for the other boot to drop?

There are so many things in this world that we do not have control over, yet we try to have control because we don't trust. We don't trust that someone won't use drugs and alcohol again, so we do things like set up ways to keep tabs by seeing them frequently or talking to them constantly. We might track where they are through their phone. We might even do things to take responsibility for them so that they won't have consequences that we think could drive them to use again. This type of control and lack of trust can be exhausting, relationally stifling, and enabling. How do we break these patterns?

The Gospel

We need the Lord to place our hope and trust in Him. How is it that we can do that? First, we need to believe by faith that Jesus is the Son of God. John 3:16 tells us,

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

We need to believe that Jesus is God. John 1:1-2, 14 declares,

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

We need to believe that He came to set all people free from the curse of sin and death by giving His own life to be crucified, buried, and resurrected to life. 2 Corinthians 5:21 states,

"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

We need to believe that those who believe and follow Jesus are given the gift and the power of the Holy Spirit (Helper) to live a new life in Christ. John 16:7-11 informs us,

"Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you. And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: of sin, because they do not believe in Me; of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged."

Furthermore, Ephesians 1:13-14 promises,

"In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory."

We need to believe that the Bible is trustworthy and true, and it is for our good. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 states,

"All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Hope & Trust

If we believe these things, then we can focus our attention on the Word of God and Jesus. We can make Jesus the center of our lives and live our lives for His glory because of His love for us.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 reminds us,

"For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again."

We can entrust the one we fear may turn back to drugs and alcohol into the care of Jesus. We can pray for their soul to be right with the Lord. We can stop making him or her the center of our lives because Jesus is the center. We can stop living in a way to try to control them for our peace of mind and their welfare because we recognize that God is sovereign over all. When we are tempted to control the situation, we can pray and remember God's Word, attributes, and promises.

Isaiah 26:3 says,

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Psalm 118:8 says,

"It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."

Practically, we can meditate on all the ways we can trust the Lord, and magnify Him more than we magnify our situation or loved one. What we think about, meditate on, and believe contributes to the way we live. If we consume our thoughts and mind with worry and wondering if our loved one is going to use drugs and alcohol again, then we will live on guard, waiting for it to happen again. If we fill our minds with the truth about the character of God, His promises, and believe that He is sovereign over all things, then we will live in the trust, hope, and freedom of Christ. Jesus and what He accomplished on the cross are bigger and greater than any person, situation, or circumstance.